This series was created in 2021 for The Mini, an annual juried exhibition at the Michael and Noémi Neidorff Art Gallery in San Antonio.
The Penitent Vulcan, oil on canvas, 24 x 36 in 
Stupid Space Suit, oil on canvas board, 4 x 5 in 
Really, Captain, oil on board, 6 x 6 inches 
Commander, acrylic on canvas, 16 x 20 
Most Pleasing, acrylic on canvas, 16 x 20 in. 
Clever Disguise, oil on canvas, 16 x 20 
The Mind Meld, oil on canvas, 16 x 20 in. 
Nervous, oil and acrylic on canvas, 16 x 20 in. 
Vulcan Nosebleed, oil on canvas, 9 x 12 in.
When I was a junior in college, I came back to school in person for the first time after a year and a half of COVID-era Zoom school. My only remaining friend in San Antonio was my ex girlfriend. I spent several nights a week crying alone, unsure of how to move my acquaintanceships beyond “friendly” without exposing how utterly, pathetically desperate I was for companionship.
Naturally, I spent a lot of time thinking about Spock.
Half-human, half-extraterrestrial, Spock constantly struggles with feeling things and being human – which is perhaps the most human thing there is.
Spock displays kindness, a deep concern for ethics, and an admirable dedication to cross-cultural understanding. At the same time, I was studying Caravaggio, who, despite his own terrible temper and penchant for violence, mainly painted saints.
Spock was a sort of secular icon to me. There is a long tradition of using characters from popular culture to talk about deeper concepts in art; just think of all the famous paintings based on Classical myths. I wanted to use Spock in a similar way, representing the inner conflict between logic and emotion that we all feel.
This series was about giving in to an obsession, loving something dorky without shame. It was also about the emotional attachments we form with fictional characters when we feel very alone. I was surprised by how many different kinds of people felt a connection with these portraits. I had some especially gratifying conversations about repression, shame, and duty with older men.
A final note: There were originally fourteen paintings in this show, but I only have good close-ups of seven. I lived in a dorm, so I had stored many of them at a friend’s apartment, and they got lost when she moved. I am still hunting the photos down.
(I warn you, young artists … always back up your documentation!)
Psssst… If you made it to the end of this page, you must really like Spock. Here are some bonus drawings just for you. Live long and prosper, my friends! 🖖
Ruby Walker 