So, I have an email newsletter. Allegedly. I mean, I’m definitely going to start actually writing them this year, so y’all have that to look forward to.
This all came out when I was trying to make a newsletter signup page, so I thought I’d move it to a secondary page to streamline things. I just feel like I can’t write for the internet without specifying that I am, first and foremost, a hater.
I use a flip phone because I don’t have the self-control not to watch youtube shorts and you can only block them on desktop, for example. So, in case you like reading this kind of rant, here we go:
I hate spam, SEO-bullshit, and pretty much all advertising
In my personal life, I’ve made it my goal to view as few ads as possible. I’m a big fan of ublock origin, sponsorblock, unhook, and dearrow.
In marketing 101, they’ll tell you it’s all about know, like, trust. Conversely, my approach to ads is ignore, hate, distrust.
- Ignore: When I don’t have access to a good ad blocker, I mute the device and close my eyes until the ad break is over. It’s a nice little moment of meditation. I get the ad-free versions of my favorite podcasts on Patreon and support the creators directly. Otherwise, I download podcasts as MP3s and fast-forward through the ads.
- Hate: If I get an ad over and over, I vow to never buy that product. Fuck you, Blue Apron!
- Distrust: Assume any ad is lying to you by default. U.S. laws are not strict enough on advertising.
But at the same time, I am also trying to make a living as an independent artist… which means I have to do a certain amount of marketing. However, I have made a personal moral choice never to do certain annoying things, even if the research says it “gets more clicks.” An ill-gotten click is no click of mine!
Things I will never put on this website or in my newsletter:
- Writing that has ever touched ChatGPT at any phase of development.*
- AI-generated images.*
- [Gagging a little in my mouth] NFTs… are NFTs still a thing?*
- Pop-ups.
- A little quiz that lures you in, only to ask for your email to get results. (I always fall for it.)
- Any of these deceptive patterns described by user experience designer Harry Brignull, sometimes called dark patterns.
- “Oh no, you left things in your cart! Come back!” Clingy emails… yuck. I don’t even have an online store yet, but I fully support filling up a cart and never buying anything. In a functioning society it would be illegal to keep that much data on people.
- That thing where you go to unsubscribe and you have to individually check off like 20 kinds of emails you never wanted to get in the first place. I’m against the death penalty for everyone except people who make websites like that. (Legal note: that’s a joke, not a threat.)
*Unless I am making fun of them, in which case they’ll be clearly labeled and heaped with the appropriate amount of ridicule.
Everybody likes getting personal letters. How can I bring that experience to email?
As an adult, hearing the words “email inbox” makes me writhe and hiss like a vampire in the sun.
When I was a kid, my friends and I saw email as some kind of magical invisible letter. I’d spend time picking out a nice font and playing with the colors. It was so fun. Like many things, emails don’t have to fill you with a vague yet inescapable dread. They just make corporations a lot more money if they do.
I still love writing letters to my friends. I like to fill them with surprises like drawings, pressed flowers, stickers, and other little treats.
My goal is to approach my newsletter as if I am writing snail mail to a friend. It’s a little quarterly zine of art updates, inspiration, and stuff I find interesting. I want to put something in your inbox that isn’t asking you to do work or trying to manipulate you into buying shit.
I’m not just being nice, though…
To be real: I would probably not post anything under my real name if I wasn’t ultimately trying to get something out of it. I’d love to just go off the grid, but unfortunately, I need money to live.
I want to have a career as an artist. I want people to see my art, understand it, enjoy it, remember my name. Like most creative types, I desperately want everyone I meet to like me. I can’t pretend there isn’t any ego or ulterior motive involved.
Still, shady sales tactics aren’t the way to establish yourself as a respectable artist in the long-term. In that respect, I guess my ethical boundaries are ultimately self-serving too. I just hope I can find a way to make a living and actually add something to other people’s lives.
But there are also snail mail options…
If you’d rather just get snail mail, you can sign up for the email haters newsletter group here. I’ll print out the newsletter and mail it to you. (Unfortunately I can’t fax it, though, as I don’t know how fax machines work.)
And, once again, if you’d like to sign up for the regular snail mail list (the snailing list), that’s here.
Thanks for reading! Keep blocking those ads!
Ruby Walker 